A Curious Pretty Lady

Having spent time in Taiwan and Thailand, I have seen (and used) my fair share of frightening bathrooms… filth-ridden, unisex squatters… you name it, I’ve seen it.. So, I was interested (ok maybe it wasn’t interest) in what I might find here.. but thus far, Korea has been a whole different story. In just 4 days, I’ve come across 2 washrooms with electronically controlled toilets. Each seat has a set of buttons—from the icons I’m assuming you can play music, warm the seat, or clean your ass,.. but without the knowledge of Korean the rest remain a mystery. There’s even one button that says “wide” and has the option for + or -… I’m hesitant though to explore any more of these options though, after a brief incident the other night…

From my deductions, I assumed the small waterfall button must be a bidet, and was curious what the button with the pretty lady must be… well… as it turns out, that pretty lady wanted a clean ass too, and I sprung from the seat in a flash… Water was shooting out of the toilet all over the stall.. leaking into the stalls beside me and all over the bathroom floor. All I could do was stand, staring and stunned.. laughing uncontrollably.. it was a good 2 minutes later, standing in a pool of toilet water, that I realized I had to hit stop…embarrassed, but amused, I trudged back to my table at the restaurant leaving a set of wet footprints behind me… Apparently electronic toilets are only for the sophisticated… childish adventurers need not apply.